Hello People
Today, I'm going to talk about a long overdue topic: What women want. That question has plagued me since the first time I hooked up with a girl. It seemed like what she said never matched what she did. It confused the hell out of me. I initially thought I was stupid and ignorant for not understanding the contradiction and everyone who gave me an answer as to why girls behave that way was the same, "Because she's a girl". Imagine my confusion and frustration at such repeated answers. The truth is that nobody really knows why girls act this way, giris included.
I saw something on my friend's bbm that I have to quote. Here goes: "Some girls claim they want a good guy, but when they meet one, he's "just a friend." Then they fall for the player and get their heart broken. Then they have the nerve to say 'all guys are the same'." There's no guy that would hear this and not instantly agree. Ironically, this statement is usually the story of many girls' lives. The truth is that most women don't know what they want and the few who do are either too scared or gullible to go for it. Others even wait for it to come to them. Idiots.......
Anyways, let me share some observations as to some of the special behavior from women:
1.Selfishness. Most babes just think about themselves. They're concerned about the attention they get, their level of happiness and are so self-absorbed that they forget that it's a two-way street. They might even go as far as to forget that they like the guys who are making that effort for them and wonder why the guys bounce due to tiredness.
2. Ignorance. Many girls think they're experienced because a couple of boys have toasted them. To even compound the issue, a LOT of girls use soap operas and other romance movies as a framework on how to act. Seriously, this is REAL LIFE, boys don't follow scripts. You're trapping yourself and begging to be taken advantage of.
3. Peer Pressure. Most babes are influenced by their friends, who usually have their own agendas. It's a saying among boys that you're not only courting a girl, but all her friends as well. The collateral damage is that friends in a group tend to like the same guy; the 'friends' suddenly become 'frenemies' lol. I'm not saying that all friends are like that, but 80% of the time, it's the way I'm describing.
4. Intelligence, or lack of it. Bear with me here, I mean no offense. Many women are intelligent, so much that I daresay they are smarter than most men. However, most babes tend to overestimate their intelligence and at the same time underestimate that of guys. I agree that a woman is a naturally skilled manipulator, but in trying to manipulate boys into their favor, the shallowness behind it reveals itself. Another part of this is the issue of keeping secrets. Women are naturally blessed with the ability to take secrets to their graves. The problem is that they underestimate boys and say and do things, thinking the boys wouldn't find out. Ladies, the truth ALWAYS comes out, and give boys some credit. We aren't as dumb as we look.
5. Power/Control. Most women like control. Period. They see the idea of having power over men as normal, ergo, they take men for granted. They believe that they can act anyway they like and get away with it. what they don't realize is that they only have the power the men give to them.
Think about it for a second. I like a girl, therefore I allow her to act anyhow she wants to me and even treat me poorly. The way she treats me can be ended anytime I want. How? By letting her go. Capisce? I should also note here that it works both ways oh. Women don't have to take bullshit treatment from men; they can always walk away.
6. Value. Most babes have a great disdain for what is available, therefore the don't really value nice, caring guys. They think such guys aren't fun, exciting and mysterious because they are calm and stable. That's what they call "friend material". They are attracted to the "bad boys", the mysterious, shady but fun guys who want no attachments. Unfortunately, women conceptually understand the difference between lust and love, but blindly merge them. They then wonder why they end being used and discarded.....
The biggest irony about this is that most women know what is good for them and vice-versa, but they still go for what will hurt them. The perfect guy for most women is that "best-friend", who knows everything there is to know about them and has been there every time and I'm speaking from experience. I know about all the arguments. "If we date and it doesn't work out, we can't go back to being friends", or "I just don't see him that way" lol. Well, how about this? There's just no way a guy and girl can become so close that one or both or them wont start having feelings. Most times, that person hides it because of the other's ignorance, self-absorption or desire for someone else. Secondly, if that friend comes out with feelings, then the friendship has already changed; you aren't friends anymore.
7. Fear. This is usually the biggest hindrance to women concerning what they want. The fear of rejection. The fear of public opinion etc. This usually makes girls convince themselves that it's not going to work and burn the bridge before crossing it. FYI, boys are even more scared of rejection; our self-confidence is just greater than our fear. If you're scared of public opinion, then you'll die unhappy. In this world, a million people might love you and another million will hate you. The rest are probably neutral, so why bother trying to please everyone? Just live your life and be happy.
8. Standards. Everyone has standards about the people they want to be with. The problem is that people aren't in sync with reality when creating these standards. This is more common with women (no insult to guys, but most of us don't even have standards with women). I remember high school, when romance novels were the way forward (if a babe didn't have a Mills and Boon, Harlequin or Silhouette book, she was a dulling babe lol). Every girl saw her type of guy as a 6-footer, cleanly shaved (lol), of an exotic race (spanish, greek, you get the point), muscular, rich and AMAZING in bed. Using myself as an example, I was a 15 year old short yoruba boy, no beard and a small potbelly, financially comfortable and a virgin at that time (lost it the next year though *wink*). Whatever confidence I had probably crawled into a hole and died after hearing such things. The sad part is that a lot of babes still carry those ideas even up to college level and it's a subconscious thing.
Even in a relationship, women's ideas of standards push men harder and harder until they are eventually pushed away. Very few women are satisfied with their men and the efforts those men make. Because someone's boyfriend bought her a Berkin bag by Hermes, her friend is suddenly upset with her Louis Vouitton bag. Because another's boyfriend has a Range Rover, our babe isn't satisfied with his Honda Accord. Competitions aside, a babe might want something and her boyfriend does it, even at his inconvenience. Then she wants something else. He meets up to her expectations, and she tests his limits further. It doesn't stop and she compares him with someone else; sooner or later, the guy will have enough. It's when he leaves that she'll suddenly realize he's good enough for her.
Once again, everything I've mentioned here is from experience. I mean no offense, and there is no absolute observation or statement that applies to all women. I'm not even attacking women here, rather, I love and respect you all. You are our mothers, sisters, friends, wives and daughters. Men need women, and I'll never deny it. All I'm saying is search your conscience, swallow your pride and throw away all prejudice. Be more observant and get to know someone before making quick judgments, based on hearsay lol. Don't always be so suspicious and don't frustrate guys off in your process of being "careful". Do not, I repeat, DO NOT take advice from a girl who has problems with her own relationship. Remove the speck in your eye before removing a log in another's.
If you do not know what you want, there's no shame in that; just don't take everyone else for a ride. Figure yourself out; have a mind of your own. Hear your friends out but trust and listen to your instincts the most. Everyone get's their hearts broken; such experiences, painful as they are, help us grow and mature into adults capable of loving all the more. Being scared to take that risk will only bring you regrets when you see the one you want with someone else. I wish you well.
x
P.S. Babes, please, please, and please again, endeavor to make your intentions clear. Speak your mind, and let your actions match your words/intentions. Contrary to what you think, men ARE NOT PSYCHIC.
Thanks.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Us
For You.......
I cannot help but appreciate how things work out. At this point in our journey, i can't help but look back at our beginning and thank God we're together. Nobody alone is perfect in himself/herself, but you're truly perfect for me. The only enemies I've faced while being with you are "time" and "myself". Time, because there will never be enough when it comes to you, and myself, in the sense that I will improve at my imperfections to ignore any selfishness and increase your happiness.
I have been through a lot of women, different shapes and sizes, different beliefs, prejudices and tolerances, different desires and goals; I cannot help but admit that I have come into my own with you. Nobody has brought about such peace of mind as you have; no one has brought about a higher sense of maturity, while allowing me to retain a little childishness. All I'm saying is that even though every person I've met is unique, you are my first of firsts. There is truly no one like you.
I usually get with people who think they know me, understand me and even think they own me; I hold you in the highest esteem for letting go, for not making any assumptions about us and surrendering. This is why you have so much power over me. For that, I will give you the world. I will never let how I feel about you go.
I could talk about fantasies I have all day, but I believe that loving someone maturely is keeping your relationship realistic.Nothing lasts forever, but until the day it ends, you will have the best of me.
I Love You Deola
x
I cannot help but appreciate how things work out. At this point in our journey, i can't help but look back at our beginning and thank God we're together. Nobody alone is perfect in himself/herself, but you're truly perfect for me. The only enemies I've faced while being with you are "time" and "myself". Time, because there will never be enough when it comes to you, and myself, in the sense that I will improve at my imperfections to ignore any selfishness and increase your happiness.
I have been through a lot of women, different shapes and sizes, different beliefs, prejudices and tolerances, different desires and goals; I cannot help but admit that I have come into my own with you. Nobody has brought about such peace of mind as you have; no one has brought about a higher sense of maturity, while allowing me to retain a little childishness. All I'm saying is that even though every person I've met is unique, you are my first of firsts. There is truly no one like you.
I usually get with people who think they know me, understand me and even think they own me; I hold you in the highest esteem for letting go, for not making any assumptions about us and surrendering. This is why you have so much power over me. For that, I will give you the world. I will never let how I feel about you go.
I could talk about fantasies I have all day, but I believe that loving someone maturely is keeping your relationship realistic.Nothing lasts forever, but until the day it ends, you will have the best of me.
I Love You Deola
x
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Free Flowing Thoughts
I sit down here, roughly 11am this morning with Deola sitting down behind me, hugging me and I think,"This is it; I am happy". I have a girlfriend who loves me to death and will do anything for me. I know I'm on my best behavior and I treat her like a queen. Technically, there's nothing more a guy could want, yes? This feeling makes me reflect on what I've been through and what it took to get with her lol. At the same time, I recognize the point where I am in my relationship and the possible danger it could pose. This is what I want to talk about for now.
I'm at the point in my relationship where everything is good; we have no issues and we rarely fight. She doesn't nag and she supports me wholeheartedly. She trusts me implicitly and restrains her jealousy when I'm with other women. Things are now consistent.........I wonder if you can see the line of thought yet......
When we started dating, things were kinda fast (even though we were abreast of the situation); we kept going up in our relationship by the week. By the third month, things started slowing down; we were finding our rhythm and slowly creating a routine. That reduced complications for us (a good thing) at the expense of excitement, mystery and drama (not so good a thing?). Now well into the fourth month, things are as simple as they can get, and there is peace. We are at the peak, our apogee, the zenith and the only way to go might be down. This is what i want to avoid.
From experience, I know that most people ruin their relationships simply because of this feeling. They get bored and feel like they have seen it all and don't know what else to do with their girlfriends. This boredom is what usually brings the problems; guys will now want to find excitement outside, forgetting that their girlfriends were once enigmatic and exciting. They also forget that they can NEVER know every possible thing about their women. I see this time/phase as a true test of love for people. If you love someone, you will never get tired of your partner. I also believe that if you cant handle this phase, then you shouldn't even bother getting married; I mean, you get infatuated and call it love. You have a long way to go.......
All in all, I would want people to learn from old people; their wisdom is invaluable. I also strongly believe that a walking example in progress of what a relationship should be is the relationship of the people I'm dedicating this post to: Effiong & Jane. Happy Anniversary, both of you. The sky is the limit.
I'll say it again, if you love someone, you will always want to be with that person. There are no limits, PERIOD. The next day will always be better than the previous day. The fights should help you understand each other better and bring both of you closer together. If you guys have to end, let it be for a selfless reason, and it should be that you both wish that it should never end.
Nobody owns the world, but you can own the universe........everything, when you own someone's heart. Do not forget that, and never take your loved one for granted.
x
I'm at the point in my relationship where everything is good; we have no issues and we rarely fight. She doesn't nag and she supports me wholeheartedly. She trusts me implicitly and restrains her jealousy when I'm with other women. Things are now consistent.........I wonder if you can see the line of thought yet......
When we started dating, things were kinda fast (even though we were abreast of the situation); we kept going up in our relationship by the week. By the third month, things started slowing down; we were finding our rhythm and slowly creating a routine. That reduced complications for us (a good thing) at the expense of excitement, mystery and drama (not so good a thing?). Now well into the fourth month, things are as simple as they can get, and there is peace. We are at the peak, our apogee, the zenith and the only way to go might be down. This is what i want to avoid.
From experience, I know that most people ruin their relationships simply because of this feeling. They get bored and feel like they have seen it all and don't know what else to do with their girlfriends. This boredom is what usually brings the problems; guys will now want to find excitement outside, forgetting that their girlfriends were once enigmatic and exciting. They also forget that they can NEVER know every possible thing about their women. I see this time/phase as a true test of love for people. If you love someone, you will never get tired of your partner. I also believe that if you cant handle this phase, then you shouldn't even bother getting married; I mean, you get infatuated and call it love. You have a long way to go.......
All in all, I would want people to learn from old people; their wisdom is invaluable. I also strongly believe that a walking example in progress of what a relationship should be is the relationship of the people I'm dedicating this post to: Effiong & Jane. Happy Anniversary, both of you. The sky is the limit.
I'll say it again, if you love someone, you will always want to be with that person. There are no limits, PERIOD. The next day will always be better than the previous day. The fights should help you understand each other better and bring both of you closer together. If you guys have to end, let it be for a selfless reason, and it should be that you both wish that it should never end.
Nobody owns the world, but you can own the universe........everything, when you own someone's heart. Do not forget that, and never take your loved one for granted.
x
Monday, February 14, 2011
The Joke called "Valentine's Day"
Hey People
I know it's been a VERY long time since I put anything down, but today is a definite must. So we're here to talk about this special day, the day of love… lol. I think that's bullshit in this day and age, because I believe that the idea of it has been totally lost in the materialism of the day itself. In my opinion of Valentines Day, that day is a special day to remind us to show love to our partners, but more importantly, to INSPIRE us to give love EVERY DAY. Let's face it, most people see Vals Day as a bonanza! It has gotten so bad that this day is one of the most joked-about days in the yearly holiday calendar.
I believe that no gift can ever surpass the gift of love (maybe apart from life lol), and if you lose track of that on the most revered days of love, then reflect on a deeper level please. Personally, I don't celebrate Vals Day because I see the current version as a joke. Rather, I'll make every day of my relationship a Vals Day. My girlfriend will know I lobe her everyday, and get gifts ANYDAY, not 3 or 4 times a year.
All In all, remember that this is a personal opinion; it's a free world. Do as you like and don't let me rain on your parade. If you have a maga, enjoy yourself and don't dull lol
Happy Vals Day everyone
I know it's been a VERY long time since I put anything down, but today is a definite must. So we're here to talk about this special day, the day of love… lol. I think that's bullshit in this day and age, because I believe that the idea of it has been totally lost in the materialism of the day itself. In my opinion of Valentines Day, that day is a special day to remind us to show love to our partners, but more importantly, to INSPIRE us to give love EVERY DAY. Let's face it, most people see Vals Day as a bonanza! It has gotten so bad that this day is one of the most joked-about days in the yearly holiday calendar.
I believe that no gift can ever surpass the gift of love (maybe apart from life lol), and if you lose track of that on the most revered days of love, then reflect on a deeper level please. Personally, I don't celebrate Vals Day because I see the current version as a joke. Rather, I'll make every day of my relationship a Vals Day. My girlfriend will know I lobe her everyday, and get gifts ANYDAY, not 3 or 4 times a year.
All In all, remember that this is a personal opinion; it's a free world. Do as you like and don't let me rain on your parade. If you have a maga, enjoy yourself and don't dull lol
Happy Vals Day everyone
Monday, November 29, 2010
Fall Semester
Hey
It's been a while, I know..... I really want to put it out there: I'm sorry. However, I have a semi-excuse: Blogger was blocked here for close to 2 months. I know I could have found an alternate proxy but that was too stressful.
Moving On..... This semester has been GANGSTA!!!! It's like boys came back with one kind of Ginja: asin, they would toast babes but with no time to waste. If the babe attempts any idea of fronting, she's bounced, just like that....... I never thought that would happen in AUN. It's still baffling me till now. "Boiz are not smiling" is an understatement; it's more like, "Boiz are vexing" lol.
The biggest shocker is that of the male prostitutes: they are all in relationships (Me included) lol. Now it's the dulling boys are "players" lmao. Things are different here, but I like it. Almost all the former whores are saying "I Love You" and meaning it; their babes are very happy women. You know what most of our couples do for fun? STRAFF!!!! It's almost an endurance competition loool. I know badt guys!!!!
I'll give you guys more jist later.
Cheers
It's been a while, I know..... I really want to put it out there: I'm sorry. However, I have a semi-excuse: Blogger was blocked here for close to 2 months. I know I could have found an alternate proxy but that was too stressful.
Moving On..... This semester has been GANGSTA!!!! It's like boys came back with one kind of Ginja: asin, they would toast babes but with no time to waste. If the babe attempts any idea of fronting, she's bounced, just like that....... I never thought that would happen in AUN. It's still baffling me till now. "Boiz are not smiling" is an understatement; it's more like, "Boiz are vexing" lol.
The biggest shocker is that of the male prostitutes: they are all in relationships (Me included) lol. Now it's the dulling boys are "players" lmao. Things are different here, but I like it. Almost all the former whores are saying "I Love You" and meaning it; their babes are very happy women. You know what most of our couples do for fun? STRAFF!!!! It's almost an endurance competition loool. I know badt guys!!!!
I'll give you guys more jist later.
Cheers
Friday, September 17, 2010
Complications: Is Love Ever Enough?
Hey
I know it's been a while, but I couldm't post anything due to Ramadan. I also fell sick before the fasting and now I'm lepacious lol. My school also deemed it fit to block blogspot due to one old drama that erupted from a babe's blog.
So I've been through a lot this past month, and as usual, I've had a lot of drama. I have so much to talk about, but for now, I'll start small. I'm going to talk about complications. People just say "it's complicated", even when things are simple. I see a complication as the events or situations that prevent things from being simple or straight forward. Take for example, A likes B, B likes A back; that means that they should hook up right? Wrong. Things are never that smooth, and that's a fact of life. Here are some of the things I've seen that cause complications:
1) Location: Most times, both people need to be in the same place to have something concrete. Distance is the one of the biggest wreckers of beautiful relationships. Speaking from my experience, Long-Distance relationships never work. The only LD relationship I was in took a toll on me and her, as we had a lot of pointless fights; It was after the relationship ended that i realized that we fought sometimes simply because we missed each other. For something strong and concrete, it's best to be in the same place.
2) Peer Pressure: Everyone has friends, and the general concept of friends is that they're supposed to have your back and give you good advice for your well-being. A lot of people act according to their friends' opinions; that would be all well and good, if their friends' advice were always without selfish interest. No offence to anybody, but I know of a lot of friends who are all interested in the same guy/ babe. Envy makes a lot of people do wicked things. On the flip-side, a good friend's advice could save you from one big heartbreak.
3) Personality issues: A lot of people are difficult to woo, as they might have personality quirks that prevent a straightforward hookup. For example, some people are insecure, so they try their hardest to not submit to the people they like. Some just have trust issues (me, for example), so it takes a long time to give in. Some are flirts, and therefore don't want anything concrete; they just like the attention, getting all the TLC, but not giving anything back. Some are confused, and don't want to make a choice (this one can drag on forever, lol). Most people however, are just afraid. Fear can be linked to all the above reasons. People are afraid that it wouldn't work, or that the other person would be bored with them, or that the significant other would find someone better. Some people don't even know what they're afraid of (usually, those are the insecure and confused ones). Some people are also purely selfish. This is another of the largest causes of complications, along with distance.
4) Timing: This particular issue was one i underestimated until it happened to me. Sometimes, everything would be perfect, but the timing would be horribly wrong. Usually, it's nobody's fault, but we can blame it on destiny or fate lol. Take for example, being in your final semester in university, then you meet the perfect person for you. To make it worse, the person is a freshman, first semester student. Sometimes, people also feel that the time they'd spend with the people they love wouldn't be enough (asin, the relationship's days are numbered), so they don't believe that going for it is worth it.
5) Objectives/ Perspectives: Just because two people love each other doesn't mean that they'd necessarily want the same thing. I'll use myself as an example here. I don't just enter relationships, plus I'm more of a "runs" guy. Me and the babe would definitely bump heads if she wants a relationship, and that doesn't mean that we don't love each other. Guys can also be very greedy; they might have a main babe they love, but they still want to sleep around. The biggest irony is that they'd never let that main babe go.
6) Compatibility: Both people have to be able to get along, otherwise, there'll be constant fights. It's a common saying that opposites attract, but sometimes, people could behave in a strikingly similar way. If your personalities don't match, then it'll never work. A good description of such complications is Eminem's song, "Love the way you lie". Such people have a whirlwind romance that would end up destroying them both.
It doesn't end there; there should be equal acknowledgment of both people's efforts and emotions. If one person feels cheated, the relationship ends up being unbalanced and one-sided. Nobody likes feeling that way.
Despite all these, I believe that if both people are united in their determination to make their relationship work, then it's still possible to have that relationship. Love is a wonderful and terrible emotion, but it's worth it whenever you meet someone else who feels the same way. If love was truly enough, there'd never be any breakups, and there'd me more long-lasting marriages. It's just that it's never enough, especially in this time and day. Have love in your heart, but use your brain some more and try to plan ahead. That way, you walk into love, not fall in love. I wish you all, good luck and happiness in your endeavors.
x
I know it's been a while, but I couldm't post anything due to Ramadan. I also fell sick before the fasting and now I'm lepacious lol. My school also deemed it fit to block blogspot due to one old drama that erupted from a babe's blog.
So I've been through a lot this past month, and as usual, I've had a lot of drama. I have so much to talk about, but for now, I'll start small. I'm going to talk about complications. People just say "it's complicated", even when things are simple. I see a complication as the events or situations that prevent things from being simple or straight forward. Take for example, A likes B, B likes A back; that means that they should hook up right? Wrong. Things are never that smooth, and that's a fact of life. Here are some of the things I've seen that cause complications:
1) Location: Most times, both people need to be in the same place to have something concrete. Distance is the one of the biggest wreckers of beautiful relationships. Speaking from my experience, Long-Distance relationships never work. The only LD relationship I was in took a toll on me and her, as we had a lot of pointless fights; It was after the relationship ended that i realized that we fought sometimes simply because we missed each other. For something strong and concrete, it's best to be in the same place.
2) Peer Pressure: Everyone has friends, and the general concept of friends is that they're supposed to have your back and give you good advice for your well-being. A lot of people act according to their friends' opinions; that would be all well and good, if their friends' advice were always without selfish interest. No offence to anybody, but I know of a lot of friends who are all interested in the same guy/ babe. Envy makes a lot of people do wicked things. On the flip-side, a good friend's advice could save you from one big heartbreak.
3) Personality issues: A lot of people are difficult to woo, as they might have personality quirks that prevent a straightforward hookup. For example, some people are insecure, so they try their hardest to not submit to the people they like. Some just have trust issues (me, for example), so it takes a long time to give in. Some are flirts, and therefore don't want anything concrete; they just like the attention, getting all the TLC, but not giving anything back. Some are confused, and don't want to make a choice (this one can drag on forever, lol). Most people however, are just afraid. Fear can be linked to all the above reasons. People are afraid that it wouldn't work, or that the other person would be bored with them, or that the significant other would find someone better. Some people don't even know what they're afraid of (usually, those are the insecure and confused ones). Some people are also purely selfish. This is another of the largest causes of complications, along with distance.
4) Timing: This particular issue was one i underestimated until it happened to me. Sometimes, everything would be perfect, but the timing would be horribly wrong. Usually, it's nobody's fault, but we can blame it on destiny or fate lol. Take for example, being in your final semester in university, then you meet the perfect person for you. To make it worse, the person is a freshman, first semester student. Sometimes, people also feel that the time they'd spend with the people they love wouldn't be enough (asin, the relationship's days are numbered), so they don't believe that going for it is worth it.
5) Objectives/ Perspectives: Just because two people love each other doesn't mean that they'd necessarily want the same thing. I'll use myself as an example here. I don't just enter relationships, plus I'm more of a "runs" guy. Me and the babe would definitely bump heads if she wants a relationship, and that doesn't mean that we don't love each other. Guys can also be very greedy; they might have a main babe they love, but they still want to sleep around. The biggest irony is that they'd never let that main babe go.
6) Compatibility: Both people have to be able to get along, otherwise, there'll be constant fights. It's a common saying that opposites attract, but sometimes, people could behave in a strikingly similar way. If your personalities don't match, then it'll never work. A good description of such complications is Eminem's song, "Love the way you lie". Such people have a whirlwind romance that would end up destroying them both.
It doesn't end there; there should be equal acknowledgment of both people's efforts and emotions. If one person feels cheated, the relationship ends up being unbalanced and one-sided. Nobody likes feeling that way.
Despite all these, I believe that if both people are united in their determination to make their relationship work, then it's still possible to have that relationship. Love is a wonderful and terrible emotion, but it's worth it whenever you meet someone else who feels the same way. If love was truly enough, there'd never be any breakups, and there'd me more long-lasting marriages. It's just that it's never enough, especially in this time and day. Have love in your heart, but use your brain some more and try to plan ahead. That way, you walk into love, not fall in love. I wish you all, good luck and happiness in your endeavors.
x
Monday, August 9, 2010
Freak
Hey,
So Estelle's song, Freak, keeps playing in my head and it made me think about whether or not I'm a freak lol. I need to thank my favorite white girl for that song. That's why the song is her ringtone on my phone :D. I think about some of the things I've tried and enjoyed, and I can't help but have a BIG smile lol. Everyone has a freak in them; that's what I believe. The real issue is whether they're willing to explore it. I mean, I'm not saying you should do some homo sturvz oh, but find out what gets you off; it makes the experience more enjoyable. I'll even talk about some of the stuff I found out about myself.
First of all, I realized something about my nature when doing stuff: I'm not selfish. Almost every other guy I know expects to be pleasured and ignores the babe once he gets off. I'm the exact opposite. I wouldn't be happy until she's satisfied, and watching her get off gets me off. FREAK. I'd try anything the babe wants, as long as it'll make her happy. Why not? I mean, sex can be painful for women, hardly ever for men. If you can find a painless way to make someone happy, go for it.
*I also realized something about myself, and that was some humility (lol) in the sense that I never feel like I know it all when it comes to getting down. I have a lot of experience, but no two people are the same. I learn something from every person that I mess with.
Now, back to the main dish: ME ;D. On the realz, when I would talk to people and they mentioned weird things like biting, scratching and even beating, I would get scared and say that it shouldn't be wrestling. However, some curiosity caught me and I decided to find out for myself whether I'd like it or not. Well..... I LOVE being bitten. I LOVE it when a babe scratches my back and I bleed. I LOVE being restrained. It's painful and frustrating, but that handicap excites me more. I also know that ever guy (me included) loves a babe that moans although turning celestial and doing like you're possessed is going too far. It's also goes without question that we hate the silent type. Well, if your luck leads you to a silent type, do what I do: JIST!! Crack jokes!! Ask how she would want it. Anything to kill the boring silence that could even kill your arousal. A guy needs feedback that what he's doing is satisfactory.
Normal is boring; try something radical and see a difference in your love life. I love the risk you take when you get down in a public area. There's nothing like that rush of adrenalin to heighten your already aroused senses and take your sensitivity to an unbelievable level. I'm not talking about that high school shit like doing stuvz in a toilet during break; no, I'm talking about stuff like having sex in a class during class periods while there are lectures going on n neighboring classes. I'm talking about having sex in a parked car in broad daylight. Do you have the liver for that? Most people have humble beginnings (lol), some of us started from home, or primary school, or secondary school. You don't know till you try, and you can stop if you don't like it.
Let me go back 1 step for people who haven't had or don't have sex. There's still plenty for you guys lol. I realized something else: sometimes, foreplay is even crazier than the actual sex. I'll bet that when you're randy, you just rush your partner and do your thing. It's perfectly understandable; I mean, there are some days I skipped the foreplay and went straight to it. But there's something very crucial about foreplay to me; I see it as the process of heightening the anticipation and desire for sex. Usually, that's why people say,"Don't start what you can't finish". This is simply because it's frustrating to get so worked up without getting an actual release, but that's one of the ways to keep the flames of attraction very hot lol.
I realized that foreplay doesn't have to be restricted to some body parts. In fact, I believe in complete stimulation; stimulation of all your senses.
-Dim the lights, make things harder to see, but more exciting to watch. The frustration of not being able to see well does wonders to one's anticipation of getting you. Don't be ashamed of your body and turn the lights off; your partner won't be there with you if he/she didn't find your body attractive. For most people, being in less than clothes is enough to work them up lol. Pervs.
-Play beautiful music, or dirty songs as your orientation/situation may determine to sensitize the ears. It sets the mood. Sometimes, talking dirty (especially when you whisper to that person, when you both are with others in public) does a better job. Telling someone who wants you already, what you want to and intend to do to him/her can't really be disgusting; I mean, they already want to.
-Perfume, Incense, Scented Candles, they all give lovely smells and can be aphrodisiacs to increase stimulation . Sometimes, just having a shower with the right soap could do the trick.
-The taste of chocolate, whipped cream, wine, honey (my favorite) could have the blood rushing faster than you think. Besides, there's something quite erotic about feeding someone chocolate while doing stuvz; just don't make it messy. That would be bad table manners lol. For some romantics, just the taste of your partner's lips is sweet enough lol. Whatever works for you.
-Now, my favorite stimulus: touch. It involves direct contact, which is the fastest way to deliver a message. It can also be a discreet means of creating sexual tension. Our skin is full of nerves; work them to create sensations. Think about it. Being stroked on the inside of your thigh while you're trying to concentrate on studying for a test. Better yet, while your lecturer is teaching lol. Do some basic biology and find out where nerves are concentrated in the body (what people would call sensitive areas) and stimulate them. It's not that hard right? Be warned though,; some people are special and not so sensitive, so just ask if nothing seems to work lol.
For the people who just like the traditional methods of foreplay (i.e kissing, touching, groping, head, fingering), well try some more things. Try giving massages, try alternating cold and hot temperatures. This one is for the ladies' benefit, so don't be grossed out or mad at me: Guys, try putting an ice cube, ice cream or even a cold spoon on your babe's nipple. Weird, I know, but that's not all: when it's cold, lick it till it's warm again. From experience, every girl that allowed it to happen said the experience was mind-blowing. No jokes. I'm just saying, don't be so traditional and selfish. Take one for the team (and I'm talking to guys here; ladies are usually always taking it for the team lol). Because every guy likes getting head, I went to specialize in giving head (to babes oh!). Because every guy hates missionary, i went to research other styles that are comfortable and enjoyable for both (like the lotus seat). What......? Did y'all think I'd say I like missionary too? Dream on lol. Doggy for life mehn! That still doesn't mean that I won't do missionary oh; but the babe must reciprocate in her own way oh. Equality and fairness between members of the opposite sex lol.
So I just read what I've written so far and I can't help but shake my head. I'm a special child, but I pay attention to every detail. I'm a freak, and proud of it. I know that you don't have to have sex to get off, so broaden your horizons. I also know for a fact that the biggest freaks are the ones who try to appear morally upright and innocent. You also don't need to get drunk to try something; I mean, how will you remember it, or determine if you liked it or not? Ah well, it's your life, your choice. As for me, I really couldn't care about what you think about it; I'm happy, and every partner of mine has been happy (#fact). You can like to try my side of life every once in a while.
Now you understand part of the reason why I smile the way I smile sometimes......
So Estelle's song, Freak, keeps playing in my head and it made me think about whether or not I'm a freak lol. I need to thank my favorite white girl for that song. That's why the song is her ringtone on my phone :D. I think about some of the things I've tried and enjoyed, and I can't help but have a BIG smile lol. Everyone has a freak in them; that's what I believe. The real issue is whether they're willing to explore it. I mean, I'm not saying you should do some homo sturvz oh, but find out what gets you off; it makes the experience more enjoyable. I'll even talk about some of the stuff I found out about myself.
First of all, I realized something about my nature when doing stuff: I'm not selfish. Almost every other guy I know expects to be pleasured and ignores the babe once he gets off. I'm the exact opposite. I wouldn't be happy until she's satisfied, and watching her get off gets me off. FREAK. I'd try anything the babe wants, as long as it'll make her happy. Why not? I mean, sex can be painful for women, hardly ever for men. If you can find a painless way to make someone happy, go for it.
*I also realized something about myself, and that was some humility (lol) in the sense that I never feel like I know it all when it comes to getting down. I have a lot of experience, but no two people are the same. I learn something from every person that I mess with.
Now, back to the main dish: ME ;D. On the realz, when I would talk to people and they mentioned weird things like biting, scratching and even beating, I would get scared and say that it shouldn't be wrestling. However, some curiosity caught me and I decided to find out for myself whether I'd like it or not. Well..... I LOVE being bitten. I LOVE it when a babe scratches my back and I bleed. I LOVE being restrained. It's painful and frustrating, but that handicap excites me more. I also know that ever guy (me included) loves a babe that moans although turning celestial and doing like you're possessed is going too far. It's also goes without question that we hate the silent type. Well, if your luck leads you to a silent type, do what I do: JIST!! Crack jokes!! Ask how she would want it. Anything to kill the boring silence that could even kill your arousal. A guy needs feedback that what he's doing is satisfactory.
Normal is boring; try something radical and see a difference in your love life. I love the risk you take when you get down in a public area. There's nothing like that rush of adrenalin to heighten your already aroused senses and take your sensitivity to an unbelievable level. I'm not talking about that high school shit like doing stuvz in a toilet during break; no, I'm talking about stuff like having sex in a class during class periods while there are lectures going on n neighboring classes. I'm talking about having sex in a parked car in broad daylight. Do you have the liver for that? Most people have humble beginnings (lol), some of us started from home, or primary school, or secondary school. You don't know till you try, and you can stop if you don't like it.
Let me go back 1 step for people who haven't had or don't have sex. There's still plenty for you guys lol. I realized something else: sometimes, foreplay is even crazier than the actual sex. I'll bet that when you're randy, you just rush your partner and do your thing. It's perfectly understandable; I mean, there are some days I skipped the foreplay and went straight to it. But there's something very crucial about foreplay to me; I see it as the process of heightening the anticipation and desire for sex. Usually, that's why people say,"Don't start what you can't finish". This is simply because it's frustrating to get so worked up without getting an actual release, but that's one of the ways to keep the flames of attraction very hot lol.
I realized that foreplay doesn't have to be restricted to some body parts. In fact, I believe in complete stimulation; stimulation of all your senses.
-Dim the lights, make things harder to see, but more exciting to watch. The frustration of not being able to see well does wonders to one's anticipation of getting you. Don't be ashamed of your body and turn the lights off; your partner won't be there with you if he/she didn't find your body attractive. For most people, being in less than clothes is enough to work them up lol. Pervs.
-Play beautiful music, or dirty songs as your orientation/situation may determine to sensitize the ears. It sets the mood. Sometimes, talking dirty (especially when you whisper to that person, when you both are with others in public) does a better job. Telling someone who wants you already, what you want to and intend to do to him/her can't really be disgusting; I mean, they already want to.
-Perfume, Incense, Scented Candles, they all give lovely smells and can be aphrodisiacs to increase stimulation . Sometimes, just having a shower with the right soap could do the trick.
-The taste of chocolate, whipped cream, wine, honey (my favorite) could have the blood rushing faster than you think. Besides, there's something quite erotic about feeding someone chocolate while doing stuvz; just don't make it messy. That would be bad table manners lol. For some romantics, just the taste of your partner's lips is sweet enough lol. Whatever works for you.
-Now, my favorite stimulus: touch. It involves direct contact, which is the fastest way to deliver a message. It can also be a discreet means of creating sexual tension. Our skin is full of nerves; work them to create sensations. Think about it. Being stroked on the inside of your thigh while you're trying to concentrate on studying for a test. Better yet, while your lecturer is teaching lol. Do some basic biology and find out where nerves are concentrated in the body (what people would call sensitive areas) and stimulate them. It's not that hard right? Be warned though,; some people are special and not so sensitive, so just ask if nothing seems to work lol.
For the people who just like the traditional methods of foreplay (i.e kissing, touching, groping, head, fingering), well try some more things. Try giving massages, try alternating cold and hot temperatures. This one is for the ladies' benefit, so don't be grossed out or mad at me: Guys, try putting an ice cube, ice cream or even a cold spoon on your babe's nipple. Weird, I know, but that's not all: when it's cold, lick it till it's warm again. From experience, every girl that allowed it to happen said the experience was mind-blowing. No jokes. I'm just saying, don't be so traditional and selfish. Take one for the team (and I'm talking to guys here; ladies are usually always taking it for the team lol). Because every guy likes getting head, I went to specialize in giving head (to babes oh!). Because every guy hates missionary, i went to research other styles that are comfortable and enjoyable for both (like the lotus seat). What......? Did y'all think I'd say I like missionary too? Dream on lol. Doggy for life mehn! That still doesn't mean that I won't do missionary oh; but the babe must reciprocate in her own way oh. Equality and fairness between members of the opposite sex lol.
So I just read what I've written so far and I can't help but shake my head. I'm a special child, but I pay attention to every detail. I'm a freak, and proud of it. I know that you don't have to have sex to get off, so broaden your horizons. I also know for a fact that the biggest freaks are the ones who try to appear morally upright and innocent. You also don't need to get drunk to try something; I mean, how will you remember it, or determine if you liked it or not? Ah well, it's your life, your choice. As for me, I really couldn't care about what you think about it; I'm happy, and every partner of mine has been happy (#fact). You can like to try my side of life every once in a while.
Now you understand part of the reason why I smile the way I smile sometimes......
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